Written by Abbs on 15 December 2009
‘Twas the night before Christmas in the data warehouse
Not a feature was stirring, nor a click of a mouse.
Overclocked by the technicians, the machines had been with care
In hope of better performance, warranties voided with fanfare.
The managers were nestled all snug in their beds,
With visions of Vista dancing in their big heads.
And Ops in the data centre, and I in my flat,
Had just settled down for a well deserved night-cap.
When out of the blue the pager went off,
I sprang from my chair to turn the damn thing off.
I picked up the phone as quick as a flash,
To the data centre now, I had to dash.
The moon on my car, all covered in snow,
I brushed it aside, but before I could go,
When what should I see,
But Bill Gates and co taking a Wii.
With a non-Windows driver, so lively and quick,
For my digital camera and my Linux laptop,
More rapid than Windows, his curses they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called out some names:
“Hydra and Sphinx, Shiloh and Yukon,
Katmai and Longhorn” are the words that he’d spoken.
I switched on the torch, to the night bare he all,
Now crash again, crash again, crash again did they all.
To the data centre now, like a hurricane fly
When I met with an obstacle, I mounted the pavement and flew through the sky
Past the house-tops, my car of course flew,
Like a 747 heavily-laden and wings broken too.
And then in a moment, I landed on the roof
of the data centre building with one giant “boof”
As I opened my door, and was turning around
Bill Gates again, came with a bound.
He was dressed in jumper and jeans
His clothes were surprisingly clean,
A bundle of toys wrapped in a sack
He was a peddlar of Backgammon and Minesweeper in this Service Pack.
His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry
His cheeks were like roses, in his hand a BlackBerry.
His droll little mouth was wide open in smile,
His chin jutting out like a cabinet file.
The stump of a pencil he held tight in his teeth,
And his breath encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, making a prat of himself,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the buffers; then turned what a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, the servers they froze.
He sprang off the roof, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew and the snow came down like rain drizzle.
Then I heard Ops exclaim, with Bill Gates out of sight,
“The servers have crashed, this has not been a good night.”
Tags: humour
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Written by Abbs on 06 December 2009
One of the important, but often neglected things to try out when developing a new website is checking its appearance with different screen resolutions. To be honest, it’s a bit of a pain, switching between them and you’re also limited to what your monitor is capable of supporting. Well, anyway, this has got a lot easier now with this handy website. Simply point it to the URL that you want to check and then click through the different suggested resolutions and you’ll easily be able to see how your website appears. Cool!
Tags: programming, Web Site
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Written by Abbs on 07 November 2009
I am now having a play with Windows 7 on a virtual environment. Okay, it’s Microsoft on a budget – trial versions of Windows 7, MS Office 2007 and Visio 2007, all so that I can write a technical document on my own computer. My, things have changed from XP! Where on earth is everything?!?
One of the little oddities is that now http://localhost/ no longer works out of the box. Apparently, this was also the case with Vista. Why? It has something to do with IPv6, but back to the actual problem. The solution is to amend the hosts file as it is now commented out in there. However, all is not quite as easy as it sounds, even for an administrator. It seems that Microsoft is taking a lesson out of the Linux distros book and you have to edit the file the hard way – via a DOS prompt!
Yep, you now have to click Start and type CMD in the search box, right-click cmd.exe and click run as administrator. A DOS prompt appears. Type edit c:\windows\system32\drivers\etchosts
Take out the # for the line 127.0.0.1 localhost and save.
It seems strange in an era where the GUI is now universal, that we have to start remembering the old DOS way of doing things.
Tags: microsoft, Web Site, Windows 7
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Written by Abbs on 30 October 2009
Once upon a nightmare query, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious part of code,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a hacking,
Someone gently hacking, hacking at my network node.
“‘Tis some colleague”, I muttered, “knocking at my network node -
Only this,” I did decode.
Ah, DISTINCT I remember, was the key word in that code,
And each separate statement in that fact, was the purpose of that hack,
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to follow,
Another book I need to borrow – borrow for another data mining crack,
For the rare and faintly used, as a developer not amused,
And fear I couldn’t keep on track.
And then there came the hacking, hacking louder than before,
“Sir”, said I, “Or Madam, use the correct password I implore”
But the fact is that I was napping, and so gently they came a hacking,
That in my slumber, I was even dumber,
That scarce was sure it true – I opened wide the door,
And in stepped the hacker, where he remaineth evermore.
But before I could stutter, with heart a little flutter,
In there stepped the hacker, like Bill Gates in height and stature,
“No!” said I, “That will erase my database!”
Too late the command was entered, and my resignation would be tendered,
And the hacker, the little slacker,
Remaineth evermore.
Tags: humour, microsoft, SQL
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Written by Abbs on 22 September 2009
Aimed at beginners and intermediate users, this book provides step by step instructions on how to set up a web site using the Joomla 1.5 Content Management System. The book has a companion site (http://www.writingyourdreams.com) and access to the Safari-enabled online version of it.
For those used to the Visual Quickstart Guides, this book follows the normal style and level. For me, though, these guides are just a bit too basic and lacks useful tips. The installation chapter misses out installing the pre-requisites like MySQL and PHP. Instead, it’s straight down to installing Joomla which is a simple, straight-forward wizard, that practically pre-populates itself. Then come the chapters on how to “create” different types of modules. What I’ve found though, is that the easiest and quickest way to start with Joomla is to install the sample data, so that it creates the modules and assigns suitable positions. It’s then a question of which modules to keep registered, and changing or trashing the sample data to meet your specific needs.
There are two things that make this book worth buying:-
1) the chapter on creating your own templates. So far, I’ve always found a suitable free template, and maybe changed it slightly, but this book provides a pretty good demonstration on how to build what initially looks to be a complicated template with multiple module positions using CSS rather than tables.
2) the excellent tip that you can view a templates module positions by typing ?tp=1 at the end of the URL e.g. http://www.mywebsite.com?tp=1. Oops. Now I’ve shared that, there is only one reason for buying this book.
Tags: Joomla, review
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Written by Abbs on 02 September 2009
This BCS report explores the current state of different facets of the e-learning industry in the UK. Some downsides to it are that it appears incomplete – figures for Adobe and Open Source solutions are excluded because the information was unavailable, and it doesn’t offer a comparison to earlier years. However, it does give a reasonable overview of the industry.
In summary, there are five groups:-
- Bespoke content developers – producing localised content for large organisations (who may decide to develop content in-house to reduce costs).
- Off-the-shelf content providers, such as SkillSoft and Video Arts. These are typically generic content, such as time management and how to use MS Access 2007.
- Authoring tool providers – such as Adobe Captivate who may start to face the pressure of open source tools.
- LMS/LCMS providers – such as SumTotal and Plateau who may be feeling the pinch from database and ERP companies like Oracle and SAP, as well as open source solutions like Moodle.
- Other e-learning products and services. This includes web conferencing like WebEx, Adobe Connect and Centra which may start to feel pressure from open source solutions like DimDim (and Skype if it were extended). It also includes wikis and blogs.
The report concludes that the e-learning industry will come out of the recession with a larger slice of the learning and development pie. I’m not so sure about the technology providers they mention as there is growing competition from open source. Products such as SumTotal and Plateau are charged on a per user basis, which can be prohibitive for medium-sized organisations and large organisations trying to reduce costs. They also have the inflexibility of the software company as they move further into SaaS and the “configure, don’t customise” philosophy.
Tags: eLearning, LMS, open source
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Written by Abbs on 08 August 2009
When moving data from one system to another, it is invariably the CSV format that is used: it’s conveniently supported by Excel, Access and almost every other spreadsheet and database management system. However, it’s not the best format to use. CSV, as it’s name suggests, uses commas to separate values into columns. Furthermore, text is identified using double quotation marks, allowing for commas to be inserted into text fields. Unfortunately, double quotation marks are also used to signify inches, so if you have a CSV file of monitors with screen sizes described, it can cause significant issues when importing into the target spreadsheet or database.
So what is the answer? Well, pipe delimited seems a more robust solution. This is where the pipes character (|) is used instead of commas. Unfortunately, it is not so universally supported.
For MS Excel to support pipe-delimited, you need to customise the regional options for your operating system. To do this, go into Control Panel and select “Regional and Language Options”. Next click “Customize” for your region setting.
Change the “List separator” option from comma to pipes. Then click “OK”.
Now, instead of CSV files, MS Excel will support pipe-delimited.
But what if your extract is already in CSV and you need to convert it to pipe delimited? Then you need a program like PS Pad – a text editor that can replace characters and carriage returns:
1) replace “,” with |
2) replace ^” with |
3) replace “$ with |
This will essentially turn it from CSV to pipe delimited.
Of course, this is all a bit long-winded – it would be far better for spreadsheets and databases to be able to import and export data in pipe delimited format without having to muck about like this, and this is where Open Source could leap ahead of Microsoft, but perhaps that’s just a pipe (delimited) dream.
Tags: Excel, microsoft, open source, programming
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Written by Abbs on 04 August 2009
I’ve been looking on the web for freelance opportunities. It seems like nothing is what it appears to be: lots of opportunities for professional bloggers for instance. I’ve now come across an MVP (Microsoft Valued Professional) who is looking for a technical writer to blog on his behalf. Maybe I’m reading it wrong, but it sounds like he’s outsourced his MVP. And another MVP who apparently made his money (and his status as an MVP) by setting up a website providing operating system tips, is advertising the old chestnut of using public domain material to flog. It does sometimes work: Emma Thompson re-wrote “Sense and Sensibility” as a screenplay and made a fortune. Talk about “standing on the shoulders of giants”.
Tags: blogging, certification, microsoft, public domain, Web Site
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Written by Abbs on 01 August 2009
I recently decided to study for an MCTS in SQL Server 2008 and have looked at a number of books to decide which certification to go for and which book seemed to be best placed to help. Here is a brief summary of my research:-
Exam 70-432 – SQL Server 2008 Implementation and Maintenance
“Microsoft SQL Server 2008 – Implementation and Maintenance Self-Paced Training Kit” by Mike Hotek. This is the official MS Press certification book which I’ve read cover-to-cover. There is inconsistency in the presentation of the material and a large number of typos. Others have already commented that there are many mistakes, particularly in the early chapters. I found it to be somewhat lacking too. The 2005 equivalent was better, and that wasn’t exceptional either. However, as with all the MS Press Training Kits, it comes with a 15% off exam voucher, practice tests on CD, 180 day trial version of SQL Server 2008 and the whole book in Adobe Acrobat format.
“The Real MCTS SQL Server 2008 Exam 70-432 Prep Kit” by Mark Horninger. Although I’ve got a copy of this book, I haven’t read it completely yet. Based on the ToC and other people’s comments, it is superior to the MS Press book, covering all the topics in adequate detail. The main gripe is that it is a prep book as opposed to a prep kit as there is no CD of questions etcetera. However, it does have 20 questions at the end of each chapter, and more detailed answers for the questions are available from the companion website.
Exam 70-433 – SQL Server 2008 Database Development
“Microsoft SQL Server 2008 – Database Development Self-Paced Training Kit” by Tobias Thermstrom, Ann Weber, Mike Hotek, and GrandMasters. Apparently difficult to get hold of in the UK, I don’t have a copy of it. However, a number of people have reported that similar to the 70-432 book, it contains a lot of errors.
“The Real MCTS SQL Server 2008 Exam 70-433 Prep Kit” by Mark Horninger. I’ve read this cover-to-cover and have to say I’m impressed with it. It contains detailed information on all the relevent topics. Again, it doesn’t have a companion CD, so it’s a prep book, not a prep kit. My main gripe is that the last chapter on it, which details Database Mail, SMO, Full Text searching, Service Broker and LINQ is on the companion site as a 136 page Adobe Acrobat document. And it’s probably the chapter that I most need to read.
Exam 70-448 – SQL Server 2008 Business Intelligence Development and Maintenance
“Microsoft SQL Server 2008 – Business Intelligence Development and Maintenance Self Paced Training Kit” by Erik Veerman, Teo Lachev and Dejan Sarka of Solid Quality Mentors. I bought a copy of this and have yet to make any significant inroads in to it. It seems to be very technical, right from the start. Not an easy thing to get into. Unfortunately, this is the only certification book currently available for the 70-448 exam.
Conclusion
After reading the 70-433 Prep Kit, I decided to go with that certification and that book to start studying with. The reason being is that it was the easiest to read and I already have a fair grasp of much of it’s content. I still see it as a hard exam to take though.
Tags: certification, microsoft, SQL, SQL Server 2008
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Written by Abbs on 30 July 2009
It was a quiet Tuesday morning in May, just after a bank holiday Monday. I was getting on with my database of databases: a database that held information about the databases we supported, where they were, who used them and how many . . . that sort of thing. Today this would be referred to as “eating your own shit”: using the technology you support in order to support it.
The boss walked past, and then looked back at me: “Hey, Simon, you know Visual Basic, don’t you?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said rather guardedly as we supported an application called CMIS which was a programming nightmare that I did not care to repeat with another application.
“I might have a job for you a little later,” continued Kev, oblivious to my slight discomfort as to what may be coming my way.
It wasn’t long before Kev was back: “There’s a VB program somewhere out in the business. It’s supposed to be churning out data extracts, but for some reason it isn’t. That’s about all we know. I’ve already told them this is something we don’t support but they say it’s mission critical, so best endeavours. John has already had a look and so may know a little more.”
I stood up and looked over to the Production Support Group and saw John. I made my way over and had a chat with him. He didn’t know much more, apart from where the extracts were supposed to be: an empty folder. I asked for permissions to the server so I could have a better look, then went back to my computer.
I had a look in the parent folder and found a folder with a similar name, but with “old” suffixed to it. I had a look and found a number of the extract files. I looked at the file permissions and found that the owner was S476519. I then fired up Remedy (the help desk software) and looked up this user name.
“Any luck?” asked Kev as he was walking by again.
“Yeah,” I replied, and told him who was supposed to be creating these files.
“Yes,” he said, “but he’s on holiday all week.”
Apparently uninterested in my detective skills, he went off. Meanwhile, I decided to nosey around the directory structure of the server and found some familiar looking files: a *.bas and a *.frm. I had a look at both and realised I was looking at the right VB project – it moved stuff around on the P: drive and did some re-formatting of the files. I wanted a little more confirmation though, so I went back to the Production Support Group. John wasn’t there but DBA Dave was. I asked him if we could find out which server was mapped to a particular user’s P: drive. “No”, came the reply.
I had another look around the server and convinced myself that I was looking at the right server, but had mapped it to my G: drive and P: was already taken for something else. I changed the drive letter in the code to the UNC path – \\DEVDATA4\Data\ – and ran the program. It immediately populated the previously empty folder, and within a minute, Kev was back saying well done.
You see, in large organisations with hundreds of servers, you cannot ensure that a server is mapped to a particular drive letter, so it’s best to use the full UNC path to the server. This, of course, probably goes against the best practice of systems administrators, as mapping to a drive letter enables them to replace it with another server with so called “transparency” (never understood that term, as whenever I’ve heard it used, it’s been in relation to something that has gone wrong, so I tend to think it means that the change does impact people). Personally, I think this is where the programmer’s best practice is correct: use UNC.
As for what went wrong originally, it turned out to be quite simple. Kev had sent Desktop down to the guy’s desk who reported back that it was like an Aladdin’s cave of computers. One of them, under his desk, was labelled, “Do not switch off”. Unfortunately, there had been a power cut over the weekend and the machine was still off. So it was another case of best practices not being followed: a mission critical VB program out in the business, completely unknown and therefore unsupported by the IT department. It could all have ended in tears, if it weren’t for ABBStract Private Investigations.
Tags: programming, unc, vb
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